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Internet Cafe

by Otis Mensah

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about

This is the second episode of #OtisMensahExists, my new series of musical musings and animation. "Internet Cafe" was inspired by the 2013 documentary "Web Junkie", a film about internet gaming addiction and a rehabilitation centre in Beijing, China, claiming to treat it. Elijah Bane came through with some mellow and minimalist instrumentation on this one and my lyrics take the narrative journey into a feeling of disconnection, the constant pathology of young people living their lives online and our collective social exhaustion.

lyrics

Verse 1
I woke up in this internet cafe my parents left me
because I refuse to leaveI stare inside the screen so deathly:
I've been on kill streak and now my peers respect me
I think this is my purpose and it’s bigger than an SD
See I don't think you get me
6 weeks of summer yes please
I'll be signed in with my besties
you see they know not to test me.
You tell me that I'm growing up
it's time to quit this game but I can see that life's the same
I know you masquerade your shame
on this quest for acceptance and with this character you play
but say mature adults don't believe in dimensions out of space
well this place is my home now
my intension is to stay
I mean my intension is to
Ok let's play.

My parents threaten me with bootcamp like every single week
my mum always complaining I don't speak
but I don't feel the needeveryone here just ignores me
vacant no ghost in my shell
but numb and nonchalant when I’m inside this story
out of touch but torn and tortured
know my friends are looking for me on this game map
so I've been skipping school and found my way back
into this internet cafe my parents left me in
in this internet cafe my parents left me
with this keypad in my fingers and this joy in my heart
sleeps not good enough to keep us apart
nah
auto-save my avatar
this mouse belongs in my palm
sleep ain’t good enough to keep us apart.

Chorus
I'd rather die if I don't level-up
I'd rather die if don't level up, up.
I'd rather die if I don't level-up
I'd rather die if don't level up, up.

I'd rather die if I don't level-up
I'd rather die if don't level up, up.
I'd rather die if I don't level-up
I'd rather die if don't level up, up.

Verse 2
I met my girlfriend here
one day we'll meet beyond this screen
on this mattress I lie in sleep
in the back of my mind I bleed
I cover my webcam
pretend I'm with you and catch up on my dreams
anonymity
I’m ghost where I goand seize up when I speak
I leave this room anxiety filled
I couldn't care if it's real
my only potion and my parents in pills
the only breathing freedom I get
is it good as it gets?
Derealisation
abrasion
feel that knot in my neck
I'm trying to be anywhere not in my head
in class with my heart in my palm
the beat echoes through the hole in my chest
internal personal identity apartheid
a part of me's present but pardon me for pausing
a part of me left
it parted like the lines in my head
someone pull me out of the depths
counting backwards as I drown in my breathe
crying out but my tongue stuck and my mouth sewn shut
Don’t let those carved lines in my desk be the only thing that I left
help me.

Chorus
I'd rather die if I don't level-up
I'd rather die if don't level up, up.
I'd rather die if I don't level-up
I'd rather die if don't level up, up.

I'd rather die if I don't level-up
I'd rather die if don't level up, up.
I'd rather die if I don't level-up
I'd rather die if don't level up, up.

credits

released June 16, 2020
Lyrics & performance by Otis Mensah
Instrumental music by Elijah Bane
Recorded by Oliver Harrap
Mixed & Mastered by the intern

license

all rights reserved

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about

Otis Mensah UK

Otis Mensah is a musician and multidisciplinary artist exploring the intersection of poetry and experimental music(s). Taking influence from the rhythmic and expressive freedom of Jazz, Otis’ work uses aesthetic language as an instrument to solo through themes of race, identity, gender and the body. ... more

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